Impressive - for untrained monekys, perhaps!
by TheDivineMsEm
Summary: Rachel shows Hunter and the Warblers how it's done.


**I really wanted to do a HunterxRachel story, ever since I saw the Warblers perform 'Whistle' at Sectionals. But since that is clouded with cheating scandals and what not, I have decided to move Hunter and the performance to Season 2, around Valentine's Day, when Rachel realizes she's over Finn. In this version, the Warblers' Sectionals competition is on a different day.**

**Rachel's POV**

I took a sip of my strawberry milkshake (yes I realise the irony that this is my favourite flavour). I knew it wasn't good for my vocal chords, but after the day I have had I believe I more than deserved it. I had walked into Glee club today to hear that both Quinn and Finn had mono, and after being secret friends with Santana for years, I knew that the only way to pass that between people was to excessively kiss them, with tongue, and a lot of it; far more than would be required for Finn's kissing booth (which had raised little money).

Now, she was at her favourite cafe, partly because of the quality of the strawberry milkshakes and partly because of the karaoke stage in the corner. The owner and I were now good friends, as this was a frequent haunt for me when the craziness of Lima threatened to overwhelm me. Today was an on the spot sign up for a karaoke competition, with the winner getting a free lunch for two on the house. The competition was about to start, but today I had no interest in performing. i was too lost in my thoughts, I believed, to give my usual inspiring performance.

I was quite content to wallow in my thoughts when I heard a voice coming from in front of me, awakening me from my stupor.

"Now why would such a pretty lady be looking so unhappy?" asked a really cute guy that was sitting in the adjacent seat.

"While I appreciate the compliment, I'm neither pretty or a lady?" I said, smirking a little, and I giggled a little as he raised one eyebrow, before grinning back at me.

"You know, I do believe you're right. You aren't simply pretty, you are breathtakingly beautiful," here I rolled my eyes, causing his grin to widen, "and a lady would have introduced herself to the handsome young gentlemen in front of her."

I looked at him, dubiously, before shaking my head, my little smirk returning. "My name is Rachel Berry. I'm the one that's going to beat you and your team at Regionals." He went to say something but I cut him off before he could. "And yes, I know your name, and exactly who you are. You're Hunter Clarington, the new Captain of the Warblers, our would be competition."

"Well, I must admitted, I'm flattered that you've committed my name and face to memory, Ms Berry, as I have also heard great deals about you," he said, sending me a wink, "for example, did you really hook up with the lead of Vocal Adrenaline?"

I held my nose in the air. "I will neither confirm or deny that bit of information."

"Which means it's true," he said with a grin, before leaning back in his chair, "though I am a little confused. You called the Warblers your 'would be' competition?"

"Yes," I said, nodding smugly.

"I'm not quite sure I understand, Ms. Berry," he said, crossing his arms over his chest as he considered me. "I mean, after watching your Sectionals performance this season, I'm hard pressed to think you have any chance."

I laughed, before throwing him a 1000 watt Berry smile. "Mr. Clarington, you don't really think I would waste my effort on a Sectionals competition, do you?" I asked, enjoying the fact that he didn't try and formulate a response. "Despite what my club like to think, I am the star of that group, and I can guarantee you this; as long as I am on top of my game, you will lose."

I leant back in my chair, trying to radiate confidence, which was proving very difficult, as he kept looking at me with those eyes and that smile. Could you faint from someone else being too attractive to stand?

"Well, Ms. Berry, I do believe this calls for a competition," he said smirking, "the Warblers and i happen to be having lunch today, so what better time than the present?"

"Oh, I almost feel bad. You must be in the mood for a butt kicking," I said, grinning at him, causing him to laugh, and lean forward, barely a breath between us.

"You may very well eat your words, Ms. Berry. We'll go first," he said, leaning in closer until their was barely a hair length between our lips, before turning abruptly and walking off. I saw him gather his team and go onto the stage, and he turned to give me a grin. I couldn't believe the audacity of that man! Oh, now I was all flustered and bothered, not that I would ever admit that to him.

I tried to calm down for the umpteenth time that day as the music started, and I rolled my eyes when I recognised the song. I should have pegged him as one to try and serenade someone through song. I should know, I am one myself.

_Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby_

_Let me know_

_Girl I'm gonna show you how to do it_

_And we start real slow_

_You just put your lips together_

_And you come real close_

_Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby_

_Here we go_

He winked in a somewhat saucy manner as the rest of the Warblers harmonized. I gave credit where credit was due, and I had to hand it to them, they really were fantastic, especially to give a performance of such high quality on the fly like this.

_(Look) I'm betting you like people_

_And I'm betting you love freak mode_

_And I'm betting you like girls that give love to girls_

_And stroke your little ego_

Oh, that man had nerve! And now, his voice was not making my insides turn to mush as my brain slowly switched off. Absolutely not!

_I bet you I'm guilty your honor_

_That's just how we live in my genre_

_Bet your lips spin back around corner_

_Slow it down baby take a little longer_

He stretched the r sound out at the end of the lyric, and I swear it was the most erotic sound I had ever heard. And of course, thinking that, my mind automatically went to a very sensual place, where it was just me and him, alone. I quickly shook myself out of those thoughts. They simply wouldn't do for such a public place.

_Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby_

_Let me know_

_Girl I'm gonna show you how to do it_

_And we start real slow_

_You just put your lips together_

Here I mockingly blew him a kiss, and he just grinned wider.

_And you come real close_

_Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby_

_Here we go_

_Whistle baby, whistle baby,_

_Whistle baby, whistle baby_

_It's like everywhere I go_

_My whistle ready to blow_

_Shawty don't leave a note_

_She can get any by the low_

_Told me she's not a pro_

_It's okay, it's under control_

_Show me soprano, 'cause girl you can handle_

**Oh baby, wait till you hear how high I can go!**

What. The. Hell? That was so far out of left field...well, if I was being honest with myself, I had had an instant attraction to him since I saw him when I took my seat a half hour ago, and I had known of him before today. I couldn't help but blush when I pictured us in that situation.

_So amusing, now you can make a whistle with the music_

_Hope you ain't got no issue, you can do it_

_Give me the perfect pitch, ya never lose it_

Was it just me, or was that a subtle acknowledgment of my talent?

_Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby_

_Let me know_

_Girl I'm gonna show you how to do it_

_And we start real slow_

_You just put your lips together_

_And you come real close_

_Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby_

_Here we go_

The boys finished to massive applause throughout the cafe, and they all took their bows before the entire group walked over to me.

"Hey Rach, how're things?" Nick asked, giving me a hug.

"Dude, don't be hoggin' the Berry!" Jeff, Nick's room mate and best friend said, shoving him aside before hugging me as well.

"Get your own Berry, I saw her first!" Nick said, and the two began to banter as they often did, while I just laughed at their antics. I had met Nick and Jeff when they, along with a few other Warblers, tagged along with Kurt and Blaine to watch our Sectionals, and the two had developed a bit of a crush on me, though I couldn't bring myself to see them as anything but older brothers, let alone choose one over the other.

"Hey Rach," Thad said, as he sat down next to me, Trent waving to me from his other side, "Dumb and Dumber still have the hots for you?"

"I think they do, yes," I giggled, smiling at Thad. I had actually known Thad already, as he happened to be dating one of my best friends from dance class.

"So, Ms. Berry, what's the verdict?" Hunter asked as he stood behind me, pulling my attention from the boys.

I thought of my response. Should I be nice, or should I scare them a little?

_Such_ a difficult choice!

"Well, I must admit," I said, nodding sagely, "it was very impressive...for untrained monkeys, perhaps," I said, shrugging. I had a sense of satisfaction when I saw his eyes widen, and the look of confusion and a bit of annoyance flash across his face, before he said to me, rather haughtily I might add, "well then, diva, give it your best shot."

I simply smirked at him. "Someone's touchy," I said, as I walked towards the stage before he could reply. "My usual Pete," I called to the manager, and he grinned, nodding my head. He knew there was only one song that always made an impact.

"And now, ladies and gentleman, our very own Rachel Berry singing 'Don't Rain on My Parade'!"

I smiled as I took to the stage, taking deep breaths and getting ready.

**Hunter's POV**

"Man, have you ever seen Rach perform live?" Nick asked from next to me.

I shook my head. "Don't worry, I've heard she's amazing," I said.

He just shook his head at me, almost as if he was trying to hold in a laugh. "Dude, trust me, no performance will ever be as good as the one you're about to see."

"Yeah," Jeff chimed in, "especially because she's singing Streisand."

"Nobody does Barbra like Rachel Berry herself.," Trent chimed in, agreeing with the guys.

Just then the intro started to the song, and I saw Rachel lower her head. When she started to sing her head popped up, and a look of pure determination and passion took over her entire face. I swear, I had never heard anything so amazing.

_Don't tell me not to live,_

_Just sit and putter,_

_Life's candy and the sun's_

_A ball of butter._

_Don't bring around a cloud_

_To rain on my parade!_

Damn if her voice didn't stretch that note out like it was rubber! And she hadn't even reached the crescendo yet.

_Don't tell me not to fly-_

_I've simply got to._

_If someone takes a spill,_

_It's me and not you._

_Who told you you're allowed_

_To rain on my parade!_

All of a sudden a light-hearted grin took over her face as the music became bouncy and happy.

**She's absolutely stunning!** Woah, where did that one come from? I'm not usually into the whole relationship idea. But for one crazy minute I could imagine myself doing that with her. **Her voice is making me go crazy, that's it.**

_I'll march my band out,_

_I'll beat my drum,_

_And if I'm fanned out,_

_Your turn at bat, sir._

_At least I didn't fake it._

_Hat, sir, I guess I didn't make it!_

I snorted at that one. I knew what she was doing. She knows she has talent, and she's going to make sure that I don't forget either.

_But whether I'm the rose_

_Of sheer perfection,_

_Or freckle on the nose_

_Of life's complexion,_

_The cinder or the shiny apple of its eye,_

I got flashes of two little boys that looked exactly like Rachel, only with my eyes, being hugged by a boy a couple of years older that seemed to be my exact replica. **These are dangerous thoughts, Hunter; dangerous thoughts.**

_I gotta fly once,_

_I gotta try once,_

_Only can die once, right, sir?_

_Ooh, life is juicy,_

_Juicy, and you see_

_I gotta have my bite, sir!_

_Get ready for me, love,_

_cause I'm a commer,_

**Damn these thoughts!** I internally raged. This was meant to be a relaxed, semi-friendly competition, and now I was taking a turn into fantasy land.

"Dude, you're thinking really loudly," Thad muttered from beside me, "she's amazing isn't she?"

"She's more than that," I whispered back, "words cannot describe what she is."

"Someone's smitten," Thad said, grinning, "when are you going to pop the question?"

"Only after she wins her first Tony," I said, elbowing him, "now be quiet, we're listening to my future wife."

_I simply gotta march,_

_My heart's a drummer._

_Don't bring around a cloud_

_To rain on my parade!_

_I'm gonna live and live now,_

_Get what I want-I know how,_

_One roll for the whole show bang,_

_One throw, that bell will go clang,_

_Eye on the target and wham_

_One shot, one gun shot, and BAM_

_Hey, Mister Arnstein,_

_Here I am!_

I was awestruck, purely and simply.

_I'll march my band out,_

_I will beat my drum,_

_And if I'm fanned out,_

_Your turn at bat, sir,_

_At least I didn't fake it._

_Hat, sir, I guess I didn't make it._

_Get ready for me, love,_

_'cause I'm a commer,_

_I simply gotta march,_

_My heart's a drummer._

This was it. If she pulled this off, no one else would or could ever compare to her again.

_Nobody, no, nobody_

_Is gonna rain on my parade!_

Everyone was clapping before she finished, whistles breaking through the cacophony as everyone gave her a well deserved standing smiled, waving at everyone, before making her way through the crowd to our table.

"So, Mr. Clarington, do you concede?" she asked, smirking playfully.

"We surrender," I said, stepping forward , and bringing her face to mine so I could kiss her.

"Knew it," she mumbled against my lips as she grinned, continuing to kiss me.

_Epilogue_

"James, come help your mother," I shouted out to our eldest son.

Just like I had predicted ten years ago, Rachel and I ended up married (going on 8 years now; so much for waiting for a Tony). We had three kids - James, who was 6 and Will and Ben, who were both 4 and a half. Rachel was about to start the press junket for the movie she had starred in, before commencing work on the Broadway revival of Spring Awakening, with our very good (and very gay) friend Jesse.

A lot of our Glee friends joined us in the city. Kurt and Blaine were still together, Kurt being a fashion designer and Blaine a songwriter. Nick and Jeff had finally come out of the closet, admitting their feelings for each other, and now they were expecting their first child. Thad got married early as well, and he and his wife owned a successful chain of restaurants.

Santana and Brittany had gotten together, also to no one's surprise. Santana was Rachel's publicist and Brittany was a choreographer. Puck and Quinn had also made the move up to New York together so they could pursue their musical careers. From what I heard, Puck was about to bring out a new album.

And me? Well, I haven't won a Grammy or a Tony or an Oscar like Rachel has (though don't say that to her; she thinks I'll jinx her OScar chances). But I make a pretty decent living as a record producer, working with a lot of fresh new talent.

"Dad!" Will cried out coming over to me, "Mommy wants you!" I picked up my youngest son and walked towards Rachel.

"Hey baby," she said, handing me a bit of cake.

"I love you," I said back, kissing her gently before separating to the giggles of our children.


End file.
